"Jingle bells, Batman smells, Ro - oh hi, Dr. Evil here. Just putting up some Christmas decorations around the ol' Evil Sanctuary."
"I know, people think I've mellowed over the years. Why, just the other day, my neighbor Clive Arno said, 'Ev, why don't you unleash earthquakes or bring monsters to Earth through dimensional gateways like you used to?'"
"Well sir, I have to confess that I've found a new way to channel my sinister urges while also reconnecting with my inner child."
"You see, now...I EBAY VICTORIOUSLY!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"
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